Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (Dairy free)

While looking for a muffin recipe, I came across this one which claims to be low fat. http://www.food.com/recipe/banana-chocolate-chip-muffins-19424.

My oldest daughter cannot eat dairy, so I used almond milk instead of regular milk and added 1/2  cup of applesauce in place of the egg.

I made them today and oh my goodness, they are divine. They are so moist and not too sweet. I think it's safe to say these will not last long in our house.

A really good weekend

This was a really good weekend. After the drama of past weekends, I needed it to be a good weekend. Saturday morning, I made chocolate chip pancakes. They were enjoyed by all, even the baby.

Also, we went to the Columbus fair and finished it up by eating at Zaxby's. I am kind of obsessed with Zaxby's, it could be bordering on problematic. ;)

I went ahead and decorated for Halloween this weekend. Savannah Grace is going to be a bumble bee this year and Hayley and Donovan are still undecided.

Happy Monday!

10 months!

Happy 10 months, sweet baby boy! I love you so very much, even if you are a NASCAR fan ;)

Hurt

I don't *like* putting my dirty laundry out there but I can't be normal and act like everything is ok. Everything is not ok. It's actually pretty messed up. I saw some texts exchanged between Josh and a girl (her name was Shiloh) on his phone. I called her and she hung up on me. I'm not going to lie, I slapped him hard. It felt good. I wish I could beat him. I think that would make me feel better. I normally don't check his phone or email or anything but I had a weird feeling. Just subtle changes and something didn't feel right. I knew in my gut but I didn't want it to be true. He's a good guy. I never would think he would be capable of hurting me this way. Not my Josh. He would not cheat and break my heart.

I wish I could unsee what I saw. Maybe then my heart would not be broken into pieces. I feel like I have been punched in my gut. I feel stupid, unwanted and furious. He's all "I love you, I love our family and you mean the world to me and I'm sorry." Blah, blah fucking blah.

I hope I can forgive him. I will never, ever forget though. I'm always going to wonder and worry. What if it happens again? Am I not good enough? Why?? I take care of the kids, our home, fold your clothes, cook your meals. I love with all my heart.

Part of me wants to hurt him back. To make him feel this pain I am feeling. Like my heart is ripped out. Is it possible to die from heartbreak?

I wish I could lay in bed with covers over my head and cry for days. The worst part is having to pretend to be ok for the kids. Tomorrow I go visit SG's new preschool and meet her teacher. How do I get up and face the day and go on when I am falling apart inside? I have to carry on even though I want to break down.

I will never be the same, we will never be the same. He ruined that. Please say a prayer for me, for my kids. Thank you.

Just some word vomit

I know it's not quite Friday yet, but my kids are asleep and I am laying in bed so...



A couple random thoughts to start off my weekend:

*My dinner tonight was a candy bar and Diet coke. I really must get to the grocery store tomorrow.
*Josh is going on a boy's weekend trip tomorrow and I'm kind of dreading single parenting all weekend.
*I might just eat Chick fil a for every meal this weekend. Well, except Sunday. Sunday will be beef day.



*I am simultaneously excited and nervous for Savannah starting preschool in a couple weeks.
*I watched Honey boo boo for the first time last night (never thought I would type those words) and it was pretty funny.
*I am pretty sure I have not lost any baby weight in the 9 months since my son was born. I blame the candy bars and Chick fil a.
*I really, really need some new fall clothes but it is so much more fun (and easy) to buy for the kids online instead.

Confession: I have not been to church in a while. Too long. I have been struggling with my anxiety and depression lately and I think this would help. (Maybe?)

Anyways, sorry for the randomness and word vomit.

Happy Friday!

posted from Bloggeroid

Sparkle

I will always have fond memories of Whitney Houston's songs. I remember singing with my sister and dancing around with my friends as "How Will I Know" played on the radio. Later on, it was "I Will Always Love You" being played at middle school dances. Oh, the memories. ♥

It was a given that I wanted to see Sparkle when it came out. I wanted to hear her sing one last time. An homage, if you will, to the great Ms. Houston. I met my friend, Sarah at the theater on Sunday for a matinee and was beyond excited to have a whole 2 hours to myself. After popcorn and drinks were bought, we filed into the theater. I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought it would not be very crowded, but it was packed.

I loved this movie. Loved it! I kind of went in with low expectations. All I really knew about it was that it was a musical, drama, and had Whitney in it. I will definitely be buying this movie when it comes out. I laughed and I cried. When Whitney sang it gave me chills. Jordin Sparks is also in it and she has a scene at the end where her singing literally took my breath away.

Did I mention I loved it?!

posted from Bloggeroid

Easy Peasy Cookies

I have been trying to find easy, fast recipes for cookies. This one did not disappoint! My 8 year old can even make these (with me cracking the eggs and handling the oven ;)

Nana's Easy Cookies

*cake mix
*1/2 cup oil
*2 eggs
*mix together
*add something yummy
*bake at 350° for 10 minutes
*devour your cookies

How easy is that! For the add something yummy, you can use chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, any kind of crushed candy. Depending on your tastes, the options are endless. :)

posted from Bloggeroid