Christmas 2012 pictures

Here are some pictures from our Christmas! They are actually from Christmas Eve through the next few days. It was a wonderful week full of family, food and memory making. Looking forward to all that 2013 will bring!

Our Santa fail

We took the littles to see Santa this past weekend. I should have known that it was not going to go well when I forgot that the mall opens at 1 on Sundays. We got there at 11. We were going to just go home and come back since they were getting fussy.

As we were leaving the mall, Savannah was melting down because I had been talking up Santa all morning and she didn't understand why we were leaving. I got the bright idea to drive to Tupelo (an hour away) to see Santa. I thought they would sleep on the drive and the mall would be opening just as we arrived.

Bahaha. They did NOT sleep. They whined the whole hour. As we loaded them in the stroller I noticed that Donovan had spilled milk all over his shirt and Josh had put the wrong shoes on him. I bought a sweater for him at the mall and we waited in line to see Santa.

By the time it was their turn, they were over it. Savannah's hair was a mess and they were exhausted. This is what we got...

Day of silence in honor of Sandy Hook Elementary

Life lately

I spent much of Friday in prayer for the sweet children and teachers killed in Newtown, CT. I can not fathom what those families must be going through. Praying for God's comfort and love to cover all involved.

Like many parents, it gave me a renewed perspective. I want to enjoy all these little moments with my family because we are not promised tomorrow. Each and every day is a gift. I need to be reminded of this when the days get long.

Also, Hayley got her ears pierced last weekend! This is a big deal, because she has always been terrified of getting this done. I am so proud of her, my big 9 year old is growing up. :-) Savannah has her preschool Christmas program on Monday and Donovan just turned 13 months old! So blessed and in love with my 3 sweet blessings.

A very special day!

Today is a day to celebrate!!! It is Hayley's 9th birthday and Donovan's 1st birthday. I am so blessed that God entrusted me with these sweet little ones and I am so proud to be their Mom.

Hayley's 9th birthday party!

We celebrated Hayley's 9th birthday this past weekend. She had a skating party and then sleep over. Lots of fun and hyped up 9 year old girls. :) I can't believe my "baby" is 9 years old!

Dad's surprise birthday party and 1 year pics!

We had a fun but busy weekend. I woke up at 6 a.m. on Saturday and went to Belk's charity sale while Josh watched the kids at home. Even though it was super early and crowded, I enjoyed a few quiet hours by myself and scored some great deals. Win, win.

After I got home from shopping Josh showered and left for the MSU and Texas A&M game in Starkville with his buddies. He left early b/c the Bulldogs were getting pummeled by Texas. He got home and me and Savannah Grace left for Jackson to attend my Dad's 68th surprise party! It is a 3 hour drive there and back and so I invited my friend Mallory to come with us. We ended up driving back home after the party at 1 a.m. because Donovan had 1 year pics Sunday morning.

The pics were fun until he face planted on the concrete and scratched his little nose. Poor baby. Katie McDill did the photos and sent me a sneak peek. :-) Josh also snapped a few on his phone. (The ones he got on his phone are the second two pictures where D is in blue).

I am so excited for this weekend because it is Hayley's 9th birthday party! Donovan's 1st birthday party is next weekend so it will be a fun but busy couple of weekends.

Halloween 2012

This year I had a flapper girl, a bumble bee and for his very 1st Halloween, a lion. :-) We went to the church fall festival to trunk or treat and played games and even won a pie at the cake walk. It was a fun night with many memories I will treasure forever.

11 months

My sweet man is 11 months old today. One single, measly month away from his very 1st birthday. I have not planned his party, yet. I know I have mentioned this before but my oldest daughter and Donovan share a birthday. Since I was in the hospital having Donovan on my daughter's 8th birthday, I am determined to make her 9th a wonderful one. She wants a skating party followed by a sleepover so we are having her party the weekend before her birthday and Donovan's the next weekend. Hello, busy month!

Here are some pics of my big, sweet 11 month old!

Savannah Grace's 1st day at preschool

SG started preschool on October 1, 2012. Yes, I know this is later than most kids but they just now had a spot open up for the 2 year old room. She will only go three days a week for a couple hours but I think it will be good for her and me both.

I was nervous when I dropped her off that she would have a melt down but she kissed me and her baby brother and said "bye!" and went off to play. When I picked her up, she was so excited because a fire truck came to her school. Flashing lights and sirens, what 2 year old can resist that?! :)

Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes as smoothly as yesterday.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (Dairy free)

While looking for a muffin recipe, I came across this one which claims to be low fat. http://www.food.com/recipe/banana-chocolate-chip-muffins-19424.

My oldest daughter cannot eat dairy, so I used almond milk instead of regular milk and added 1/2  cup of applesauce in place of the egg.

I made them today and oh my goodness, they are divine. They are so moist and not too sweet. I think it's safe to say these will not last long in our house.

A really good weekend

This was a really good weekend. After the drama of past weekends, I needed it to be a good weekend. Saturday morning, I made chocolate chip pancakes. They were enjoyed by all, even the baby.

Also, we went to the Columbus fair and finished it up by eating at Zaxby's. I am kind of obsessed with Zaxby's, it could be bordering on problematic. ;)

I went ahead and decorated for Halloween this weekend. Savannah Grace is going to be a bumble bee this year and Hayley and Donovan are still undecided.

Happy Monday!

10 months!

Happy 10 months, sweet baby boy! I love you so very much, even if you are a NASCAR fan ;)

Hurt

I don't *like* putting my dirty laundry out there but I can't be normal and act like everything is ok. Everything is not ok. It's actually pretty messed up. I saw some texts exchanged between Josh and a girl (her name was Shiloh) on his phone. I called her and she hung up on me. I'm not going to lie, I slapped him hard. It felt good. I wish I could beat him. I think that would make me feel better. I normally don't check his phone or email or anything but I had a weird feeling. Just subtle changes and something didn't feel right. I knew in my gut but I didn't want it to be true. He's a good guy. I never would think he would be capable of hurting me this way. Not my Josh. He would not cheat and break my heart.

I wish I could unsee what I saw. Maybe then my heart would not be broken into pieces. I feel like I have been punched in my gut. I feel stupid, unwanted and furious. He's all "I love you, I love our family and you mean the world to me and I'm sorry." Blah, blah fucking blah.

I hope I can forgive him. I will never, ever forget though. I'm always going to wonder and worry. What if it happens again? Am I not good enough? Why?? I take care of the kids, our home, fold your clothes, cook your meals. I love with all my heart.

Part of me wants to hurt him back. To make him feel this pain I am feeling. Like my heart is ripped out. Is it possible to die from heartbreak?

I wish I could lay in bed with covers over my head and cry for days. The worst part is having to pretend to be ok for the kids. Tomorrow I go visit SG's new preschool and meet her teacher. How do I get up and face the day and go on when I am falling apart inside? I have to carry on even though I want to break down.

I will never be the same, we will never be the same. He ruined that. Please say a prayer for me, for my kids. Thank you.

Just some word vomit

I know it's not quite Friday yet, but my kids are asleep and I am laying in bed so...



A couple random thoughts to start off my weekend:

*My dinner tonight was a candy bar and Diet coke. I really must get to the grocery store tomorrow.
*Josh is going on a boy's weekend trip tomorrow and I'm kind of dreading single parenting all weekend.
*I might just eat Chick fil a for every meal this weekend. Well, except Sunday. Sunday will be beef day.



*I am simultaneously excited and nervous for Savannah starting preschool in a couple weeks.
*I watched Honey boo boo for the first time last night (never thought I would type those words) and it was pretty funny.
*I am pretty sure I have not lost any baby weight in the 9 months since my son was born. I blame the candy bars and Chick fil a.
*I really, really need some new fall clothes but it is so much more fun (and easy) to buy for the kids online instead.

Confession: I have not been to church in a while. Too long. I have been struggling with my anxiety and depression lately and I think this would help. (Maybe?)

Anyways, sorry for the randomness and word vomit.

Happy Friday!

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